Enter/Exit Signs

This blog is specifically for those times when a store (Wal-mart, Target, Publix etc.) is very busy and has a lot of traffic inside.  During these times people tend to leave their better judgement at home.  We're all in such a hurry that some of us forget to enter the entrance and exit the exit.  This results in chaos, mean mugs, grumpy customers, beeping security systems, shopping cart traffic jams, and lazy welcome people.

I believe the reason people do this is because we can get away with it when it's not busy.  There's no harm when you're the only one walking in the building, right?  Heck, the automatic doors work both ways don't they?  But what this does is train us to become very stupid looking when a store is actually busy.

I declare that we all try to abide by the seemingly pointless signs and actually walk through the doors we are instructed to.  If that doesn't work, I urge stores to either hire people competent enough to manage crowds and instruct people to walk through the correct doors, or install bug zappers that shock anyone who goes the wrong direction.

Make the Oscars Relevant Again

This year the Oscars won't be taking place until the end of February.  Over the years they have been pushed further and further back in the calender.  But what that's doing is making the Academy Awards useless and out of touch. 

Think about it, most of the Oscar contenders release their movies in December and nationwide late December - early January.  That's when people go see these films.  Wouldn't an audience like to know the nominees on January 1st so they can go out and see these films?

Instead the public is exposed to the obnoxious Golden Globe Awards in the middle of January, which at times gets things right but more often than not is a laughing stock.  It's not until after that when we get the nominees of the Oscars and are forced to wait a month before the award is given out.  This usually results in a month of political warfare from the studios pushing voters to vote for certain films.  It's a nasty process that isn't designed to honor these truly remarkable films.

Also, between the Golden Globes and Oscars we have a half dozen awards shows in the U.S. alone, where we see the same nominees win time after time by their respective unions.  By the time the winner takes the stage at the Oscars we're bored to tears and in recent years it's obvious the winners are struggling to find words not because they're speechless, but because they've done this speech 10 times before.  Part of the reason people watch the Oscars is to see the rawness and unplanned moments that happen when these actors take the stage.  Have we gotten moments like this in recent years?  People can say the biggest upset in recent years has been Slumdog Millionaire taking over the Oscars despite it's non-traditional content and independent spirit.  But by the middle of January I was so tired of hearing the hype behind this film.  Everyone I knew saw them winning Best Picture a mile away.  Even HUGE upsets like that are tainted because the Oscars are such a long wait after January 1st.

By the end of February the heavy movie-goers are usually past thinking about the nominated movies.  We're ready for the spring lineup, different festivals, and gearing up for the summer flicks that are a couple of months away.  Did we really care all that much when The Hurt Locker upset Avatar?  Maybe.  But considering the movie came out almost a year before it was announced best picture, it seemed like old news.

I've grown up as a huge fan of the Academy Awards.  Every year I schedule the screening in my calendar and watch every minute of the 4 hour show + red carpet crap.  I'm an invested viewer that simply wants the award show experience to be its best.

I suggest that the Academy Awards move their air date to the middle of January.  The nominees will be announced January 1st.  This way the public has motivation to go see these films that just came out and also give them a chance to see these films after the awards are presented.  Wouldn't you love a chance to see the Best Picture winner in the theatre?  That could never happen when you usually don't find out until the end of February.

Bathroom Door Handles

There is nothing worse than using a public bathroom, washing my hands, and then having to grab a door handle to open a door. Sure, I may have clean hands, but the second I touch that handle my Monk alarm goes off. We've all seen that one guy walk past the sink refusing to soap up all while blowing snot rockets into his hands.

The best case scenario for public bathrooms are typically at large attraction venues such as stadiums, airports, or Disney World.  Their bathrooms don't even have doors!  You have to walk around a rounded corner to enter the room.  No contact. No disgusting door handles.

I understand that these kinds of bathrooms can't be in places like gas stations and restaurants.  But I have one suggestion for places like this.  Handle-less doors.  You know, doors that swing.  This works  especially for bathrooms that don't need to lock.  You get past the hand contact by simply using your foot to swing the door open.  BOOM! Solved.  No more using paper towels to open the door handle.

Of course there's so many other places in public bathrooms that can be solved.  But this is by far my biggest gripe, that could easily be solved.

Do you agree? Can you think of a better way to solve this issue? Or am I the only one with this issue?

U Turn Signal Revolución

Every car in America should have the U-turn blinker, just like we have a right and left turn blinker.

Think about it, How many times are we behind a car that we think is turning left but is actually doing a U-turn.  We are forced to slam on our brakes as they slow down in order to make the U-turn.  And how about oncoming traffic?  Wouldn't we like to know whether a car is turning left or just doing a "You-ee"?

This is probably not a new idea.  In fact you can read all about the patent holder right here!

I'm begging car manufacturers to install this on all vehicles.  That or make it mandatory for drivers to do hand signals indicating a U-turn.  I'm thinking something along the lines of a giant foam finger in the shape of a U.  Perfect!

Shopping Carts

Ok, so I know we all use shopping carts or Buggies as they call them here in the South (that's reason enough for a whole other post).  And we've all seen or maybe even participated in the greatest tragedy of supermarket parking lots...stranded carts.  Thrown aside like they were never loved, nor deserve another home.  People use them and abuse them like an unloved child.  They sit for days just wishing someone would pick them.  Sure it may have a squeaky wheel but that doesn't mean it won't work hard to carry your heavy groceries!

It really grinds my gears when I see people blatantly leave shopping carts by their car, not allowing other people to park there, or on sidewalks.  Is it really that hard to walk 20 feet and put the carts away where they belong?

People may say, "but they have employees where that's their job to get those."  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Sure the cart guys/gals end up picking up customers "trash" because otherwise the parking lot would be filthy with lonely stranded carts, but this isn't their job.  They are to retreive the carts from the lot Return area and return those to the store.  Trust me when I say this is a tiring and thankless job.  The last thing these hard workers need is mindless people who are too lazy to return a simple cart.  When we eat at restaurants we don't throw our trash on the ground because we know someone will pick it up do we?  No, we throw it away in the trash where it belongs.

Will you stand up with me to always return carts?

The Buckle Challenge

Growing up in Nebraska, I find that Nebraskans take a lot of pride in things that are distinctly Nebraska.  But there's one thing that has become the ugly step child of Nebraska...The Buckle.

The national clothing chain started up in Kearney, NE and the headquarters still reside there.  Unfortunately a large number of teenagers in NE wear Buckle clothes religiously.  But that's besides the point.

You may or may not have heard of The Buckle Challenge.  It's a game that I was introduced to in my teen years.  Since The Buckle has an incredible customer service standard, the goal of the game is to walk through the store, touch the back wall, and walk out without any clothing salesman talking to you.

I've played this several times over the years and have beat the challenge, but believe me, it's no easy task.  In fact, it's near impossible.

The point of this blog is to talk about the overbearing and ridiculously invasive customer service the Buckle has installed.  I was in The Buckle not to long ago to take advantage of a gift card I had, to buy some new pants.  Upon walking in the store I had two employees approach me and asked me several times what I was looking for.  I said nothing and they left me alone...or so I thought.  Within two minutes a guy sneak attacked me from behind and whispered to me "Yo man, whatcha lookin to buy today?"  I wasn't down with this bro all up in my business so after 5 minutes of failing to explain that I was just browsing, I said jeans and walked away towards Emily.

Emily and I found a pair of pants for me to try on and I was headed to the changing room where the bro intersected me and gave me 5 pairs of "Mikey Bo" pants.  I kindly took them and pretended to be interested.

After trying on a pair of pants and stepping outside to show Emily the door creaked so LOUD that the bro raced around the corner to check out my new duds.  He was shocked I wasn't wearing one of his pairs.  After about the third pair of pants, and him racing around the corner, I had had enough.

I looked at Emily and our eyes both said to get the heck out of this place.  I did end up getting the pants but I will take every opportunity to avoid The Buckle at any cost.  No matter where in the country, every Buckle I've been to has been this annoying.

I don't mind having good customer service.  I've been on the opposite end of bad customer service.  But if you take a good thing too far it turns dangerous and creepy.  The Buckle needs to learn that an aggressive Mikey Bo is not a good Mikey Bo.

Popcorn Chicken

Can someone please tell me the logic behind this commercial?

They make fun of other restaurants for having chicken nuggets because there's no part of a chicken called a nugget.  But then they follow that up with saying they have popcorn chicken instead.  Riiiiiiight.  Because chickens obviously have popcorn.

Score 1 for KFC geniuses.